Back then, I used to walk on the streets all night long, and everytime i was out there, the dusty sunburnt town seemed to come to life, like touched by a strange magic.
One night that smmer, when I was walking homewards at sunrise, I met myself near the high fence around the schoolyard. There I walked in the early morning, and I smiled at me, and I shook my head in shock and digust because I smiled like a very dumb-boy first grader. I stopped when I reached me, and I smiled but I didn't smile nor greet.
"Yesterday", I told me, "yesterday I was at the swimming pool when it was cold.
It was cold when I walked in, and I saw the pool andit was blue and there wasn't a man and there wasn't a woman in the water.
And I looked at the clock what time it was and I took my shirt off and I took my pants off and I walked to the pool and i got in. The water was warm and I liked it and I swam to the edge. I swam fast and there were three men and they swam fast too and I started to swim and I was free and I wondered why.
And I didn't count the rounds and I breathed and I was in the water. It lasted a long time and I heard works I didn'T know but I liked them because they were nice and warm. And he had a nice voice and he told me he was Jesus but he was like a kid and he hada smile and he was funny or bad when he said he was Jesus.
And I still swam and he wasn't Jesus and his words were nice and his voice, too. I swam with my eyes closed and everytime I turned I was very fast.
And sometimes my eyes opened and I saw blue, only blue with my eyes open and I closed them again.
And I heard a tune and the tunes were just steady and nice and I liked them because they were nice and they were there.
And I still swam and it started to rain and when I was over the water I opened my eyes because I wanted to see and it was like a rainbow and it was bright and I was happy and I liked it, the way it was on the water and it was the blue water with the bright rainbow and it made me happy and I smiled when I was in the water.
And I still swam and I smiled and I wanted to go into the deep but I still swam.
And sometimes I wated to cry but I didn't and I smiled and I swam and while I was swimming I made tunes and they were nice and steady and I saw blue and then on the ground of the blue I saw lights and they were nice and bright and warm.
And when I was at the edge I turned and I swam very fast and I touched one of the lights an I let the bubbles go up out of my mouth and I lay down there on the ground with the lights. And then I was afraid but I lay there and it hurt.
And I got up again and I was in the middle of blue and light and the bright rainbows and I breathed and the rain kept falling on my head and I was in the water and it was blue and I smiled and I laughed.
And I let the air come out of my mouth and I went down again and when I was afraid I got up, but not very fast.
And I swam to the edge and I saw the edge and on it was the rain and it was wet and I saw it and behind me was the blue and the light and the rainbow. And with my finger I touched the stone and it was wet, too and I didn't smile but I was happy. And on the stone there were little blue spots and they were like the big blue.
And I was afraid and I was cold and I got out and I walked and I saw a man in the water and he swam and he made small sounds and they were steady and nice and I laughed and I was loud and bright and free.
And it felt right and I was cold and I walked very fast and I thought I die because I was so cold.
And I got into the shower and I took my top off and I took my pants off and I had legs and arms and I had breasts. And I felt my breasts and they were the way I wanted them and I was a woman and I wondered why.
And I had my mouth open and I felt my lips and they were like ice.
And I thought I must go back and I felt like i was going into the blue and I was going to the ground and I wasn't afraid this time.
But I moved nice and steady the way I liked it and it smelled like summer and I got out of the shower and I felt my lips and I was a woman and I wondered why. Adn I went out and I was cold but then it was bright and warm."
"Why are you telling methis?", I asked.
"I've been to the sweimming pool as well. I know what it's like there."
And I didn't answer and in the inside I was angry because I had seen so much and me not. And I went away without saying a word.